Final Act

Been a while since I posted. More than a month. For some reason, I expected this whole affair to take longer, but it ended a breath. After so many choices, so many paths, so many losses, I arrived at my destination. It was the not the destination I expected, or wanted, particularly. But it was a destination nonetheless, and my arrival was better than the journey.

Several liars, a few truth bearers in disguise, and some who understood much and knew little, helped me accomplish this. In truth, it was never meant to be done. How many people go missing every day, and do not even make it on the local news? The answer is many. Manipulation, control, and corruption are rife in this world.

I regret many of my decisions, but wrong decisions and regretful decisions are two different things. Many of the choices I made were manipulated, and the rest were still probably not my own. I was helped by several people, but how many of them were right? How many knew the truth? I will never know now, but I did not want to know then. I trusted, was willing for most things, in order to end this path I was placed on.

In the end I was right. I should never have started. I now have ended this for the good of everyone. If you are reading this, remember, never take the path. It goes downhill all the way, but stops quite suddenly. Before you are ready.

I did what I had to.

And will do it again.

Freedom and Lies

Looking through some of Matthias' old footage, I'm noticing a lot of it looks fake. But why would he fake it? I questioned him a while ago, with Grey by my side. He just said that 'he was a fool, wanting a piece of the action'. I think that means that he was a faker. What bridged the gap?

He also claimed a while back that Vision was actually not an alternate personality, but a Proxy that had been manipulating him, and asked us to free him. A claim immediately crushed by a fact mention by a dear friend of Grey's. This friend claims that Vision is merely Matthias' alias, and all those other claims were merely attempts to lower our guard.

Choices is free, but he has been changed. He claims to no longer be in bondage to the Guardian, and 'That a mind such as his should not be given free reign'. I am glad of his freedom, but do not know what to expect.

I have been given a choice. Do I keep fighting, or do I offer to stay away from this and leave it forever? I do not know whether either is possible, but I do not know what to choose. My mind is breaking.

Endless

Time is going on. Been ages since I posted last on this site. Nearly forgot about it to. Nothing has been happening, other than occasional chats with Grey Cross. The voice in my head is silent, and I don't know if I want something to happen or not. Grey says this silence is to break me, and if so, I think it's working. I'm on the edge, and I'm afraid of what will come next.

Of how this will end.

Faceless

That face I mentioned earlier is still appearing in my dreams. I swear I can see it when I am awake as well. I cannot describe it, because for some reason I forget what it looks like until I see it again. It's definitely not the Host or Matthias, because I know what they look like. I don't know if it has a body or not, it's just...the face stands out.

Things like this are enough to drive a person insane, which raises the question: Why am I not insane? Or am I insane already? Just a few more mysteries to add to my list.

Another person contacted me. She did not exactly explain her intentions, she just told of her experiences. She wants answers, I think, but, like me, we don't know the exact questions...

I do hope she doesn't become involved. The last thing I need is a bit more guilt in my life.

Doesn't anyone have answers?

Not Lies but Stupidity

Grey was making clear sense. I was not understanding it. I will not say what I was confused about, that is between us. It seems I have been the error in a lot of things, now that I look back. I need to focus and clear my thoughts.

I got nowhere with my lead. Matthias obviously intended it to be a joke. As if any of this is funny.

I am the problem.

Silence

Nothing has been happening. I will wait until I actually can learn something. I'm tired of speaking and learning nothing. Last time I tried to get some info I was nearly killed. In fact, I think Choices may have been killed, or taken. I would like to speak with someone who has answers. Choices refused to answer, Grey Cross knows little, Vision/Matthias is being sadistic, the Host is also enjoying my ignorance, and lets not forget the fact that the Slender Man, the Guardian, and any other aspects of the Tall One are ignoring me.

Someone said he wants to speak to me. His name is the Benefactor, also referred to as Johnson. I doubt his authenticity, due to the fact that he speaks with fakers, but he is basically the only lead I have left. Even Grey is being contradictory, saying something then revealing that someone was lying or something like that. My mind is in tatters, although this Prophet claims that it is strong.

Fool. Do you not reΛlɪze thΛt your mɪnd ɪs your most powerful tool? Do you not know thΛt ɪ would normally be drΛggɪng you over to my sɪde, but you Λre doɪng the opposɪte to me?

What good is tool if you don't know what or how to fix? What good is a weapon if you don't know how to fight? I have another lead though, one no one knows anything about. Not even this fragment inside my head. And yes, he may have started off as separate mind, but, like he said, I am dragging him into mine.

As for the lead, it was a message left to me by Matthias. I will follow it and see where it gets me.

Consequences

We met. We spoke. I nearly was killed. I had no idea that the Host was a resourceful as the Tall One. And Matthias tried to interrupt with a knife. I didn't get much anywhere. It's only thanks to Choices that I made it out there alive. He managed to get away with me before I was attacked.

I only learnt one thing: That Grey Cross is being used as a tool. A while ago, I was shot at, and we both thought it was Grey. Or, to be more accurate, we hoped not, but suspected it. Now I know that Grey is being puppeted by someone. By a powerful being. I didn't learn anything else of interest, thanks to their backstabbing tendencies.

If you read this Grey, I still trust you. I'm not willing to lose a comfort just because liars claim that you are under someone's control. Besides, I been through much worse ordeals than this. It's not as if it can get a lot worse...